I'd love to say I told you so

by Mar Kel the Badbelly

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Clare Selina Farmer
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Clare Selina Farmer I struggled choosing a favourite track because they're all brilliant...Docks, Betty, Giraffes... and the poetry, oh... Cold Feet floored me... but it had to be the one with the TING! :) Favorite track: Reprogramming.
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It all happened so fast.

A whirlwind relationship that grew to a storm over 7 years. Week after week living off the highs of both the good and bad times. Made worse by a blinding addiction to commitment, sex and the adrenaline of a fight.

"I'd love to say I told you so" is the story of the last 2 years in that destructive relationship.

With contributions from:
Craig Williams
Issa Farrah
King Singh
Jenn Hart
Lysander White
VJ Smooth
You Haven't Heard of Him
She's Excited
Fred White
Jane Goldsack
Jamey P
Starchild Luke
Michaela Bennison
Dr John Plowman

See www.BADBELLY.co.uk for full credits info and lyrics.
This album is designed to be heard as a continuous piece of music.


released November 25, 2013

Album mastered by You haven' Heard of Him



all rights reserved


Mar Kel the Badbelly UK

A life lived and lessons learnt come together in music I like to call Modern Blues and Beats.

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Track Name: 3 Minutes
Just 3 minutes had passed since my eyes where last open, but in those 3 minutes I’d recounted a 100 mistakes.
A 180 seconds filled with emotions from every sense in my body with fire as hot as hell and a love heaven could only dream of.
3 minutes I sat there with my head in hand and my jaw balancing precariously in my palm.
Then a slip.
A jolt back to reality as I recall one mistake to many and my head slips from my hand. Neck snaps preventing my head from hitting the table. Dazed and confused my eyes focus and I remember where I am.
I’m alone
Track Name: I Must Confess
I made a mess I must confess I didn’t know what I was doing
until it was to late, oh to late
And while my thoughts where all my own I couldn’t stop from wandering all alone. It was to late, oh to late
Free from guilt or chains of morality I must confess that it wasn’t me
No it wasn’t me.
Tall tales twisted forming plaits of truth
Court room finds me guilty now hang me from the roof
Now leave to die, cause no one tells a lie

No no one tells a lie now do they
No no one tells a lie now do they

Judge and jury both seem so biased
No one knows the love that’s stuck in side us
You say its to late
Oh it’s to late
Walls being built but no bridges being made
Just happy to sleep in the bed that we made alone
Because its to late
Perceptions twisted deceptions listed and the past being used as weapon
Because its never to late, to throw a grenade
Held me lifted me and dropped me like a stone
Cause no one tells the truth you’re all alone
Because no one tells a lie
No no one tells a lie

No no one tells a lie now do they
No no one tells a lie now do they

Lies being deceitful playing all kinds of people
Many sides to a head that wasn’t real
Oh was it to late, to show your true face
Evidence collected defence carefully selected
With a Life sentence being dropped down and then erected
Oh it was to late
For me it was to late
Live a lie long enough it becomes the truth
Look at my life its the living proof
Now it was never to late
Oh its never to late
Track Name: The Past
The past is a foreign country, I travelled from through time
Some people travelled with me, others stayed behind
To snare the elusive freedom the travellers so sorely miss
To re-enact the acts about which the travellers reminisce
As I wander the harsh now I see ghosts from the past
Echoing the joys of yesterday but now it’s a hollow laugh
Summer days skating at the settlement by the sea
How enslaved we became by the desire to be free

Those who stayed behind to re-enact the dramas of the age
Fear to leave like a captive bird hesitates to leave an open cage
Back then we didn’t know what our adventures would bring
The freedom was bondage and these caged birds don’t sing
For as I free myself from fleeting freedoms which throw me back through time
The past unravels to reveal the real nature of this subject of mine

In nectar like summer nights I saw birds in the sky
The apple Eve ate was the apple of my eye
In nectar like summer nights as birds we flew high
The comedown lasted years then we dropped off like flies
We kindled a flame which warmed us and now burns us, why
Does what we once lived for now cause us to die?
Track Name: 4 Giraffes
Everything’s looking up from where I’m standing
Everyone watched no one cushioned my landing
Compared to everyone else i’m falling twice as fast
I had super powers but I knew they wouldn’t last
Just a plain old man with a wrinkled birthday suit
Standing tall on the edge with no damn parachute
History’s taught me well and the pages are weathered
But links to the binding are broken and severed
Chapters of pain all washed up in the rain
Chapters of laughs forming paper paths
Chapters of depression duplicated for a lesson with the names all change to ensure their protection
What’s a book anyway i ain’t ever read one
My history’s being carried on with words to my son
Carefully chosen like a life herbal remedy
Its no wonder why he’s always chosen to call me Ghandi
Time to close the book now and write a new one
A free style rhyme with no rhyme and reason
Broke the seal of a vacuum and travelled to the city and spending all my time wondering when you’d be with me

And the sight of 4 Giraffes

Back to the grind that’s fine if I had a better stone this blade’s sharp enough to cut my home
Out of my life out of my view
6 quid to cross a bridge now who the hell knew
I’d be swapping green hills for the sight of 4 giraffes
Echoes from a valley of lingering laughs
Dropped into a melting pot of long cooked bitter words
With container like mountains and people move in herds
With our Heads in the trees so far from our knees
I remember all those that bent in the breeze
Fair weather friends blew away in the storm
While we stood tall with our necks so long
Proud to be a family so what they can stare
Its 3/4’s here and a quarter there
United we stand even with one missing cause the 4 giraffes know it was just the right decision

To stand tall like the 4 Giraffes

A Life like Lego using all the wrong pieces
Destruction to you to me iron out creases
What’s the use in all of it anyway
No house or a garden no more I gotta play
Gotta live my life now before its to late
The big bellied man had a lot on his plate
He ate it up and ate it up and licked the plate clean
3 courses down just the desert and cream
Not finished yet though i’ve only just started
Staring at the sea now with the power to part it
I can do anything having fallen this far
No super powers needed just a man with heart
A heart that I pass on to both of my kids
Start a new book now called don’t do what dad did
Design the cover kids 1st chapter last laugh
All signed at the ending by the 4 giraffes
Track Name: Cold Feet
Your feet were cold when they brushed mine, left bed
My toes curled for you; pinched spring
You dressed late fumbling buttons
while I watched in dozy wonder.

Avoided me like a caged bird in lion’s den
and when I fluttered my lids to plead a kiss
You gave me a fist.
My name fell from your mouth like dribble
Piddled on floor, gummy.

You cried apologies at carpet; But it’s on my side
Crumpled wish you say to claim my skin
but raw red rage refuses your pity
Wants to heal, solitude, bottle of gin.

Still muttering, tuttering twisted tongue
with words you’re not used to using
you take forgiveness from furniture; unable to face your facts.

When you’re gone dust eats the space
where your face dripped into your hands
you smear damage on my cotton white sheets
peered sheepishly at the sun squinting, thinking.

Should I go on?

You don’t
Leave, I dream a shadow
And no, I don’t want no scrubs
I want a bucket overfilled with ice
so that I might wake up when it rains
My feet warmed by someone new.
Track Name: Run Away Train
That mirrors lying it shows you in one piece
It doesn’t show the unbuilt jigsaw underneath
But building piece by piece is never fun
Especially when your whole life is built on the run
Leave all the damage that you’ve ever had
Stuff all your demons inside this bag
You wont ever need them where you’re going
Where ever that is

Now run from your self and your promises
Never staying long enough to decide what is
The beautiful picture that you’re painting
Or seeing the beautiful hearts that you’re breaking
With Scattered keys and no memories of all the times they fell to their knees
Begging for you to stay and yet take the heart ache away
But you’ve bought your ticket made sure its one way
Now you’re stood on the platform and you’re trying to say
Words that sound like lies, through tears in those eyes

Get on the run away train
She’s on the run away train
Get on the run away train
Never staying long enough to fight the pain
Get on the run away train
Oh the run away train
She’s on the run away train
Never choosing to stay and fight again

Smash that reflection now it’s only a lie
A mask so tight with binds that tie
With knots so strong this fronts becoming your face
Easier to live with than the damn disgrace
Fist now bleeding open wound so wide
A darkness so black through the tunnel you’ll ride
Full steam ahead making haste your escape
It’s time to save yourself now its never to late
Forget all the past and the people left there
They only caused you problems why the hell should you care
So what that they’re crying they could do with the salt
You shouted loud enough to prove it wasn’t your fault
They never listened did they to realise they were wrong
You pushed and pushed now its time to move on
Arms stretched out always crying in pain
Why would you want to stay and see that again
Why would you want to stay and fight again
Why would you want to put them through that again
Its easier to get on
Its easier to get on
The run away train
Oh the run away train
And run away
Track Name: Don't You Tell me to Smile
Don’t you tell me to smile
Why stick around if it ain’t worth your while
My highs and lows are versatile
I’ll take you on the highest high

Breathe in breathe out that’s all I had to do
Even that was a struggle when you was in my view
Barely managing one foot placed beside another
Standing firm but a voice saying why bother
Its gonna beat you down any way
No one understands the game inside thats played
Logical thoughts versus emotional reactions
Wired to a bomb of relationship destruction
And with a 1, 2, 3 boom
You’ve done enough damage to clear this room
Of every remnant of love there ever was for you
Why the fuck do you do this to you

Don’t you tell me to smile
Why stick around if it ain’t worth your while
My highs and lows are versatile
I’ll take you on the highest high

So don’t you tell me to smile
Oh don’t tell me to smile

Breathe in breathe out like I had a choice
It was sanest words coming from that voice
Every thing else had a fuse attached to it
Tick tock tick tock to late you've blown it
To busy counting squares inside a box
Darkest corners of your mind all unlocked
Doors wide open thoughts running for protection
All you gotta do is control this reaction
No chance, no deal, no game
Facial expressions already showing pain
Swimming in conspiracies doubts of humanity
Why oh why have you got this hold of me
Cause its inside you never getting out
No more a seed a fucking tree of doubt
Who are you, what are you, are you worth all the while
Now don’t you tell me to smile
So don’t you tell me to smile
Oh don’t tell me to smile..
Track Name: Willow Cabin
I have made my willow cabin at your gate
And in it i would wait and i would wait and i would wait
Here i am trembling within this room of smoke
In sharpest darkness alone i bide myself to you and hope
You’ve crept in and under dusk’s dull woe, would lie still if i awoke

I long to hear you calling in this night
And yearn to wake to you by morning’s meekest light

I’d surrender all claim on the beat that you owe me
The one my heart missed on that our first kiss
Seraph’s sweet blessing warm on my lips
And thoughts of all others forever eclipsed

I have made my willow cabin at your gate
And in it i would wait and i would wait and i would wait

Until the last star had winced and died
And the last man had gently sighed
The last staccatoed stuttering
That beat time on human kind

I long to hear you calling in this night
And yearn to wake to you by morning’s meekest light

And if by some ungodly speculation
There existed a creator of creation
Who on surviving the last utterance of utter devastation
Decided to check what left drew breath (some antecedent incarnation?)

He would find me in my willow cabin at your gate
And in it i would wait
And i would wait
And i will wait
Track Name: Let the Flowers Sleep
Land tended to
The seeds sown
4 walls of a house lets call it a home
We’re all happy, we’re inside
A storms coming a whirlwind i can’t hide from
Its scaring me
So close
Tearing up every root and fruit
I hope it passes as quickly, as it came
Strength of love shouldn’t be matched the same strength of pain
I feel it
Its burning
Moving so close as fast as it turning
Such beauty, leaving debris
Destroying fences walls knocking down a family tree
I should protect it but its a part of me
The eye of the storm staring right back at me
I close my eyes and hope we make it through
Another day so I can see my flowers bloom

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for A moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she’s not, ‘cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone

Let the flowers sleep tonight they’ll be needed for another fight
Another day another morning of sun light
As sure as the sun rises in the east
And your past is in yesterday to be left to rest in pieces
Of another day of shattered dreams
You’re trying to wake up and recall what it all means to you
And how you struggle to get by day to day
The wrong way, the right way and every word i’m trying to say
I’m struggling to let go
I wanna love you and I want you to know I can’t breathe
In this suffocation
I’ve tried to live my life through soulful isolation
But it’s no good I gotta feel the beat
Of my own heart it’s still there and i’ve tried to sleep
But I can’t and I see the whole night through
I’m looking at the flowers sleeping and all I think of is you
Is you
Is you

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for A moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she’s not, ‘cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone
Track Name: Warm Water
I have a history of attraction not an attraction to history
I’m doing my best so not to repeat these
Crimes of humanity that have been committed on me
But we’re creatures of habit so I guess we will see
Maybe we’re preprogrammed and my code is wrong
Stuck 20 go to 10 forever long
Think my problems worse and some ones on the inside
Messing with my data replacing files on my harddrive
Over writing images with sounds of laughter
All a big mistake or a happily ever after
Images now sit with rose tinted glasses
Therapy or format what ever works the fastest
Her finery in binary lives on like a ghost
I’m all to willing to become the host
This installation has too many questions
And I’m feeling so guilty with all of my answers.

You make the water warm and I know
You shouldn’t be in my body but I let you go and flow
Hijacking blood vessels for your transportation
And I should be fighting this damn infestation
But I go

You make the water warm and I know
You shouldn’t be in my body but I let you go and flow
Hijacking blood vessels for your transportation
And should be fighting this damn infestation
But I go

Tick tick tick or click click click
This hearts only beating to the dance of your tricks
Puppet master pulling strings connected inside
Partitions no walls so there’s no place to hide
Can’t hide anyway it feels so good
Killing a viruses with a drugs even though you know you should…nt
An existence only worth it
When its full of something (she says)
You need me I need you we’re perfect together
A universal serial love what’s better
Transfixed by my prefix never safe to eject
Get on your knees now loose all respect
You’re addicted to me and i got control
Your not a man the mouse is in my hand now let go
No need to fight it as I feel so good
oozing around your body as you know I should

You make the water warm and I know
You shouldn’t be in my body but I let you go and flow
Hijacking blood vessels for your transportation
And should be fighting this damn infestation
But I go

You make the water warm and I know
You shouldn’t be in my body but I let you go and flow
Hijacking blood vessels for your transportation
And I should be fighting this damn infestation
But I go

You make the water warm and I know
You shouldn’t be in my body but I let you go and flow
Hijacking blood vessels for your transportation
And should be fighting this damn infestation
But I go

You make the water warm and I know
You shouldn’t be in my body but I let you go and flow
Hijacking blood vessels for your transportation
And I should be fighting this damn infestation
But I go

Cold turkey’s no escape for me
There’s no intelligence inside its just love you see
I’ve tried everything to escape the feeling
But the bugs in my code leave me skin peeling
Even though the case is battered beyond recognition
There’s comfort in corruption and at least she’s giving
A feeling so alive when she’s on the inside
Holding down my heart just enough so I survive
Ok this isn’t life and how its supposed to be
But the contract I signed waived all rights to me
Till death do us part and she’ll make sure of that
Always looking wirelessly for another to contract
The finest binary disease of deception
While my blind eyes turn giving no reaction
Self destruction in addiction giving up not easily
Now pull the plug and kill me.
Track Name: Docks and the Pirate of Hearts
You’re roped in
Tied to the shore
Anchored down never wanting no more
Sands have settled
Only the waves break
And there’s peace in the silence
and the rest of the world can go and take


They’re flying
As you sail
There’s reminiscing in this pace and thoughts prevail
Even though you’ve rocked and rolled in tied of the night
And you’ve cast away castaways for a better life

Is this new found land any different from your home?
Views change the horizon’s the same no matter where you roam
You cruised through a bruising but your heart came out clean
As if your wounds where washed by the salt of the never ending stream

Of sailors

All willing to carry your baggage now oh so large
While the rest of the men look to the sea singing bon voyage
Marooned on an island with a scuppered boat
You took everything but left just enough to stay afloat
So they could look down and see where once X marked the spot
And rue the sunny day you boarded their dock
With smiles and promises of sugar and spice
So good was you at pillaging no one knew the price

And as ever the weather played a part in the day you’d set sail
Calm seas were to easy with winds that would only fail
To offer a swift get away leaving to much time to mourn
So the best days were the days with a forlorn storm

Sails full of sorrow and the emptiness inside
Anchor fully lifted let the wind guide your ride
Hull newly strengthened by your thick skin
Cargo hold full of gifts from the sailor who gave in
Rain weathered face disguising your tears
and blackness of the sea would fill the strongest with fears

But not you though
You’ve travelled this journey many times
So many sea shanties where you name rhymes
With an ending of a love as hers just starts
There she goes setting sail
The pirate of hearts
Track Name: The Ballad of Betty Ross
Like an egg shell so strong until its broken
She was the one that used those egg shells to walk on
Tip toeing across that knife edge every day and night
Trying not to be the one that starts another fight, with him tonight
Dealing with a seesaw that was so one sided
Desperate for them to see the woman crying behind her eyelids
Being tipped so high from the weight of both of them
Yet always only able to see the one that surrounds him
Locked in cage of rage trying to get out
No matter what she dealt with she never had a shout
Always choosing carefully and using soothing words
Never loosing love for him in a life so absurd

She was always gonna break
So much she could take
So much she could handle
Why did he have to do this
Coming home to torn threads
Fix another broken bed
Where’s he been all night
Stuck in another fight
Always choosing carefully and using soothing words
Never losing love for him in a life so absurd
Never losing love for him in a life so absurd
Never losing love for him in a life so absurd

The C.B.T taught her how to keep it together
The doctors where smart although never that clever
Try as they might to take the beast from the man
Experiments and chemicals then off they ran
Always underestimating the power of the beast
Only to stand in awe of the love she released
Just a hold of hands or a touch of the face
Would calm the beast down only to be replaced
With tears of remorse at what he had done
Surveying the damage caused by what he’d become
Buildings where rumble leaving cheers of a victory
Foundations where firm they could rebuild the city
But with eyes to eyes and lips to lips
Balance finally equal yet the see-saw still tipped
They both knew the peace wouldn’t last that long
And again she’d have to prove she was just as strong

I just want to be there for you
Our marriage and vows they still hold true
Unwavering under so much stress
Yes the world thinks our life is a mess
But I see the heart that beats underneath
But it’s getting so hard to ignore the beast
You’ll never understand the love I have for you
Unconditional the purest so strong and true

Yes I know this I’m trying my best to control it
But life’s pressures to much and I just cant stop it
Angers coming over me and the beer isn’t helping
We’re struggling with the money cause I spent it all on shopping
TVs and gadgets everything to make me feel good
May be if you helped oh I wish you would
Or if could help me by taking some of the pressure
Instead of just sitting there crying at your leisure
What’s wrong with you anyway you’re doing just fine
You got the house, the money, the car bottle of wine
What’s there to moan about your life’s just pretty
I’m the one standing here getting blamed for my shitty
Attitude you know this I just cant turn it off
I’ve tried everything and it just wont stop
The only hope we have is I learn control of beast
And use him for positivity at least

Well I’m here love I’m not going anywhere I tell you
But can you handle the hell I’ll put you through
I see the man inside and I know his love is true
I cant do this on my own we both need you
Please remember our vows till death do us part
Oh please don’t say that Betty that’s the hardest part
I know you cant be hurt but I feel your pain
Awww I’ll protect you forever now lets hide from the rain
Track Name: How Can a Man be Happy
Surely when you’ve lost everything and there’s nothing left to lose
Expect maybe the air you breathe and maybe the blood that oozes
Through your vain on to your brain that’s struggling with the voices
So many dark avenues all full of the wrong choices
Never knowing which is right until you’ve gone and done it
Dealing with a mountain so high but never reaching the summit
Whilst so high you love the view but you’re always going to hate it
Was the battle worth while and the price you had to pay for it
Full house to empty room full of echoes of your life
Material possessions and all the trophies won from fights
Storage always a problem due to the baggage that you’re carrying
Solitude’s your woman now and you’re thinking thoughts of marrying

Now. How the hell can you be happy
Now. How the hell can you be happy
Now. How the hell can you be happy
Now. How the hell can you be happy

You scratched it off you got the golden ticket yes you’ve won
You’ve got a million pounds from now everything this gonna be fun
Everything’s well within reach just by the splashing of your cash
No need to check the bank balance the important things last
Money spent night and day always looking for the good times
The girls the cars the gadgets the clothes the drugs and the fine wines
The futures now your past is there and they’re both watching your life go by
Just for a split second you thought “well if I could by the sky”
Superfluous is no fuss this moneys just like water
Friends telling you to slow down you ain’t living like you oughta
But easy come and easy go was the moral of your life
And now every things gone you can still sleep at night

Now. How the hell can you be happy
Now. How the hell can you be happy
Now. How the hell can you be happy
Now. How the hell can you be happy

How can a man be happy when all he’s experienced is pain?
Ten years of love
Nine years of hate
Five years alone
Two years of shame
One mistake I made
I’ll never make it again
Make excuses say that you were too young
Explain you had too much to handle because of the fact i had a son
But that doesn’t heal the scars that you left me with
How can I be happy when acceptance is expected
If we did it all again, well, would things be the same?
Would you sit upstairs while my baby boy is playing
Would you tell me take those pictures down
I don’t want them them there
Would I muffle babies cries just so you don’t have to hear
Or would i walk the other side of the road cos you don’t want to be seen
Pretend your boyfriend isn’t me not good enough for your dreams
And the people you thought would judge you, where are they now
How can a man be happy when he’s lost what he found
Track Name: I'd Love to Say
I’d love to say I told you so but those words you’ll never hear
Even when you stood before me and you could read my lips so loud and clear
But now as you walking away with those knives hanging out my back
I curse the time table and that train sitting there on the track

I’d love to say I told you so but I’ve heard it all before
Even with my ear drums ringing as you stamped my head upon the floor
Even then my heart was still beating to the rhythm of our life
Through blurry eyes and broken nose I still looking at my wife

I’d love to say I told you so and I’d be there forever more
But this game you’re always trying to win by getting one up and settling the score
So many dirty tactics worthy of a red card from the ref
He’d take your name down put it in his book with the surname “what a mess”

That surnames changing now though I’m reclaiming back it as my own
I may not be the king of my castle but I’m sitting here on my throne
No shiny crown for me though I never wanted it anyway
Just a stable life with respectful wife and the occasion give and take away

I’d loved to say I told you so while I was was stood in the middle of the road
And you drove away with our daughter I tow with all the broken promised that I for told
Rear lights like eyes of a beast I’m slaying with a smile
As you fade in distance I realise you was never worth my while

I’d love to say I told you so and I guess I already did
When I beg don’t fuck the pain away when the truth came out about the lies I hid
Like a bad soap opera you was planning on repeating the past
Oh he’s just a friend? Well when I turned up he was getting dressed pretty fast

I’d love to say I told you so and guess what its in this song
You fighting beating and disrespect only made this man twice as strong
And I should really say thank you for giving me the words to write
And stories that ring in many mens brains as they try to sleep at night

So thank you , hell no screw you
I’ve been left with nothing and having nothing to prove
I’ve remove my soul from your groove
A pitiful existence being chained to a beast
Now I can look in the mirror and say at least
I gave all I could
For the children that we have
While you was robbed this soul of all you could grab
The end
Track Name: Sssshhhh
Even when I’m silent I command more respect
This worlds been paved with footsteps that reflect
Every journey I’ve travelled and every lesson learnt
And I’m not saying I’m Lucifer but girl you’re getting burnt
With the shit you’ve speaking and methane on your breath
You could ignite this whole world A bull shit chemistry test
So we all be aware of naked flames
I could plunge you into darkness and i wouldn’t blame
You to start running cause i’m a sick little fuck
And these thoughts in my mind are all running a muck
I could rip you a new one or even in two
And looking at you girl that’s just what i might do


My Ears burning like hells lonely fire
Desperation in justification now I’m the liar
Words hollowed out like your black heart within
While I look at mine on my arm and it gentle sings
Black heart shines the brightest cause its soul is on show
Yours bleeds ever faster trying to playing a role
What is it today the book of love or single file
So many words wasted names only add to the pile
Recycled feelings with hand me down thoughts
Passing on the lessons I took time and taught
Living the life i carved out for one and other
While your sculptured beauties being handled by another

Now Sssshhhh

There was perfection in your lips but the spaces in between
Let seep through an evil that was rarely seen
only evidence was the pictures left behind or that damn audio
That was so hard to find
I got it though and I heard everything
Every moan every lie every twist of my being
All the while i was just trying to sing
About our life and how we could all bring
4 giraffes standing tall waiting forever
Not for you though the run away train was much better
Got your quick getaway from any sort of pain
Using any sort of excuse to reassign the blame
I hit you you beat me we hurt one another
You finally won by making me no better
Than you

Now go
Get out my life
You’re not worth this
And you’re no longer my wife

Let go
Be silent
I can happily live in silence

Now there’s silence and my wounds have healed
I can express my pain through lips so sealed
The bitter sweet gift is you once held me so tight
Giving me the ability to warn with clear sight
No need for face to face with the past
I didn’t write the book my musics the last laugh
I’m shouting loud and clear and you will hear this!
This man is father and there will be justice!
Now Sssshhhh
Track Name: Reprogramming
To progress and improve as a person is hard to do, but so what. The alternative does not bear thinking

If I truly want to do something I will find a way. If I do not I will find excuses

The impossible is often the untried

Respond to situations and people as they are in reality… not as you imagine them to be

The purpose of any communication should be positive

If you can’t learn from negative things that happen to you in life then you will quit. So learn, learn

When one door closes another door opens. Often we look so long and regretfully at the closed door that we do not see the others that are opening before us

Know what you can change in life and what you cannot change. Learn to be wise enough to know the difference between the two

If I don’t feel fear then it means I’m not trying, fear is part of life. So feel the fear and do it anyway and do

Be self-sufficient. The need for others is unhealthy because it involves dependency. Learn to want to be with another for the genuine pleasure of their company

Allow yourself to be yourself. Do not hide from other people or run from the true you. It seems to be a law of nature that what you hide.. is exactly what is found. It is never too late to be the person you were meant to be or always was

It is not what happens to you that is really important. It is how you react to the situation, so bring your reactions under your control. Remember that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal

Don’t blame yourself for your reactions in social situations. We’re all human and showing so will only ever gain respect

Remember that in the long run things don’t matter as much as you think they do. Do not take yourself, others or life too seriously. Ensure you laugh every day

Work only to live, do not live to work

The loss self-esteem whilst painful at first can lead to the discovery of your own identity and a feeling of exhilaration and strength. Grow stronger with each blow

Do not attach your personal worth to other people’s reaction to what you say or do. Remember that your personal worth does not change. You’re worth everything and more to yourself and loved ones

Be optimistic about the future as the future is open all. Remember that your mind works like an umbrella. It only works when it is open